Every Breath you Take

How does one write a motivational blog on health and fitness when that one has hit rock bottom… or at least every time she thought she had hit rock bottom, she discovered that it can always be worse.  My life had been spinning out of control for the last few years. I had suffered a number of losses, both through death and through the end of important relationships. I was sad. I was low. I wasn’t feeling very motivational…. but I kept plugging along. Pretending everything was ok and hoping for the best.

The thing is… grief is paralyzing. Grief sneaks up on you in the middle of the night and you wake up crying and shaking and unable to fall back asleep- and you don’t even know why.  There is no time limit for grief… and when you suffer multiple losses and traumas in a row- your brain cannot possibly process everything… so one day you are at your daughter’s cheer competition, and her friends are looking at you uncomfortably saying “Please stop crying Piper’s mom..”  And you recognize that your sadness is impacting others…

I’ve learned a lot in the past few years. I thought that as a way to celebrate my journey back into the light, I would share a couple of them with you.

So here are my top 10 life lessons…

10- Running is always the answer. If you are sad, mad, confused, disillusioned, anxious, nervous, scared… whatever… go for a run. Get outside. You will feel better.

9- Sleep is important. Without it, you will drive yourself crazy. Do whatever it takes to get your sleep. WHATEVER it takes.

8- Not all relationships are meant to be. Even the ones you have romanticized about your entire life… Some people are meant to come in and out of your life without a life long residency, and that is ok. You have to bless and release. Hold no grudges and be thankful for the happy times.

7- No one owes you anything. YOU are responsible for YOU. No one else is to blame for your choices, good or bad. Take ownership and be who you want to be instead of blaming others for who you aren’t. That’s just lame.

6- Dogs make the best listeners. They don’t judge your crazy talk. They don’t tell you that what you want to do is illegal- they just listen, support and love unconditionally. Have a dog. Have 3.

5- Teenage girls are hard. Everyone always says that they are- and then all of a sudden you have one- who is just like you, pulling the same garbage that you pulled, only this time the risk is much higher… because it isn’t you- it’s your perfect, delicate baby girl. No you can’t go to a party with boys… that’s insane!!! Ugh… Give me strength.                      Love and understand them as much as you can.

4- When someone has suffered the loss of someone close to them, don’t ask them if they need anything. Go over and do a load of laundry. Take their children on an outing so that they can sleep (#9) Bring them a pot of chili… anything.. but don’t ask, they aren’t going to tell you.

3- Don’t kick your friends when they are down. That’s an asshole move that doesn’t deserve to be forgiven. If you can’t recognize when someone is struggling, then you probably don’t deserve to be in their life in the first place- but being a dick is super uncool and speaks very loudly to who YOU are… always be kind. You don’t know what battle is being fought.

2- The sun will rise again. You may feel like you have been pulled down so low that you will never see the sun again- but you will. And when you do- you will be stronger than you were before. You will be more focused, you will be more glamorous- and your jeans will still fit like a glove. You are strong. You are beautiful and you are loved.

1- Don’t let anyone rush you- but don’t be afraid to ask for help. Having someone super smart to talk to is essential. You can’t keep it bottled up, you need to talk things through- and there is no shame in that. You are making yourself better which will in turn, make those around you better. Take your time, but work through it. It’s not your fault and you will survive. Journal, read, take long baths, meditate… love yourself.

I hope this helps- and I am excited to share some pretty amazing news with you in the upcoming weeks. Change has been in the air and Something about Shawna is evolving- I can’t wait to share it with you. Things are looking way up!